I believe we shouldn't have to edit who we are just to survive our workplaces or do our work in the world. Work should be fulfilling, fun and a natural extension of our gifts and strengths. And workplaces should be places and organisational structures that let us bring our whole selves to work, spark our best thinking, and support our best work.
wholeness. compassion. power. presence. resilience. creativity. radical positivity.
As humans - when we give ourselves full permission to live the life we want to live, overcome self-doubt and insecurities, start paying attention to what feels good and what doesn't and start accessing our inner wisdom and the courage to act on it, we transform and expand our worlds - and lift those around us who will notice the difference.
As coaches - when we show up with our whole selves and powerful presence, we create a potent and fertile space with our clients, underpinned by deep trust and partnership. These are the conditions necessary for the container of psychological safety in which transformational and long-lasting change can happen.
As employees or as managers, we can know that when people are supported to show up like this in the workplace, they are more satisfied, have higher commitment, perform better and stay longer because as humans we tend to want to enjoy our work, belong where we feel valued, and contribute.
As leaders, we have greater impact where we give ourselves permission to bring warmth, authenticity and Sometimes-Not-Knowing to the people we serve. There is power in learning to deal with the discomfort that comes with uncertainty and risk in our leadership - no more avoiding it altogether because we don't know how.
If you're looking for a powerful partnership to support you or your workforce in doing your best work, I'd love to talk about working with you.
ABOUT WORTHINESS AND BELONGING.
Not trusting our innate worth and wisdom and not feeling good enough has us believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with us as a human being - that we somehow don't measure up to some externally defined standard or perfectionist sense of how we should be.
And - we are hard-wired for belonging - so it's likely that if we've never explored our relationship with accepting ourselves and belonging, we'll be acting from trying to avoid disconnection and manage what others think of us, instead of staying open to connection but having really clear communication around what's ok and what's not.
If you're living from this place, you're probably working too hard to 'make things happen', speaking and acting from a place of needing to be something other than you actually are - saying yes when you mean no, not saying no often enough, feeling angry and resentful often, or feeling flat and lifeless because you haven't given yourself permission to feel angry or have boundaries. If you are working hard to please or appease others, if you're keeping quiet to 'keep the peace', if you're setting yourself unrealistic standards of perfection, if you've 'orphaned' some parts of yourself you've judged as 'not ......... enough', that's going to be eating away at your life force, leaving you feeling wrung out, powerless, hidden, and very very small.
I know how that feels because it was exactly how I lived my life until I got clear about the impact of my un-examined thoughts and feelings around 'not enough' and 'I should try harder' were driving me to over-achieve, be busy and hurried, and doubt my worth.
I can help you.
I work with people to teach and support them to develop their presence and confidence and deepen their relationships, and also how to find the right words to communicate from a place of authority, clarity, openness and respect. And when you have something you want to create - to allow and receive more, instead of striving and efforting.
This work is about raising awareness and practising the skills - emotional intelligence and shame resilience - and I can show you how.
It's not for the faint-hearted. This work requires us to dig deep into the thoughts, feelings and behaviours we are currently living, to shine a light on our 'not enough' stories once and for all, and to develop the courage to be who we are, form deeper connections (with bigger boundaries) with those around us, and create what we want to create in the world.
By its very nature, the identity you've crafted (and that could be a team or organisation as well as an individual) won't want to be seen - it will want to keep you isolated and small. We're going to treat it gently, but we're going to firmly prise its grubby little hands off the steering wheel of your life, and start listening to the genius in you, who wants to lead with WISDOM, ALIVENESS, CREATIVITY and COURAGE.
And it's going to feel liberating, when your attention is freed up and you can create more of what you want to create.