I'm reading Kyle Cease's new book 'I hope I screw this up' and realising something really important about how I experience my life.
So much of it is in my head - with worries about what people think, am I doing it right, what SHOULD I do next, second guessing myself and my decisions, looking to others for guidance about what's right for me.
This is not a place where life flows. It's a place where I resist life.
When I'm in my head, the priorities are staying small, under the radar, not being seen and keeping safe. And many times thoughts of scarcity and caution. The thoughts are usually based on an old script instead of noticing what really wants to happen in the moment and trusting that feeling. I'm not present to what's happening AT ALL, I'm just living in a story in my head.
Like when we were on a sunny walk yesterday on the beautiful Scottish coastline, and stopped for a playful and delicious ice-cream on the way back to the car. I noticed my judgement about shouldn't really have one, my head's attempt to judge something that was about to bring me great pleasure as 'wrong' somehow.
Instead, I choose the wild abandon, risk-taking and savouring that I would prefer to have and that goes with saying a 'hell yes' to the ice-cream my body wants to have.
I wonder where else that little voice of caution and judgement stops me having a really, really good time
When I let my heart lead, the guidance is softer, quieter, gently persistent.
Flow with life, it says. Stop resisting the present moment.
Eat the ice cream. Savour the soft breeze on your face. Enjoy the company you are with. Notice the sparkle on the water and the frothy aliveness of the surf. Absorb the full-on joy of the dogs splashing as they bound and chase each other through the shallow water. Just this moment.
Say 'yes' to life.